Legacy

When you reach the end of your days what is the legacy that you leave behind? Some loved ones leave earlier than we wish and some live long lives.... But they all leave memories and stories that we will carry on for years. As we have been deep cleaning we have found things that remind us of those we love and Joey and I have been sharing stories about our grandparents, which seems appropriate as we celebrate our Pioneer heritage this time of year. 

My only living grandma, Needra, has filled up many memories in my heart. And she still is.... She is the only person I can call to talk about my guilty pleasure from watching reality tv! My favorite vacations with her were to California where we all stayed in beach houses and to Yellowstone. She always took me to Riverton Drug so I could get a coloring book and a treat if I was spending the weekend. I loved sleeping over except when my cousins and I would stay up too late and creep each other out in her big house where chandeliers looked like monkeys at 2 am!! As a young kid I hated eating my vegetables and I rarely cleared my plate. When my parents would turn around or leave the room, Grandma would always make my uneaten food disappear!! I love her many artistic talents. She can play the organ and paint! She is humble and wears her heart on her sleeve.

Grandpa Turner, Frank, was the adventure junkie. He was the jock, the SBO of Spanish Fork, and a hottie!!! He was an expert hunter and fisherman. He was skilled in construction and you can still find his hotels and restaurants that he built and ran in West Yellowstone. We loved his ranch in Hi-County Estates. Those were quite the Easter egg hunts. We loved feeding his horse Kasar apples and we loved the indoor pool. But I most remember spending time at Firehole River having sunbathing contests. And now he has built and left this cabin in Heber and every thing there reminds me of him. He loved ice cream and puzzles. I don't love puzzles... But I think the love for ice dream has passed down through each generation. What a man!

Grandma Hilton was my second mom. I talked to her many times a week. Sometimes I needed a secret recipe and other times I just wanted to here the latest gossip. She showed me what a wife can do to really honor a husband. She fixed three meals a day and kept the cleanest home ever! All of my best recipes come from her. And boy could she do Thanksgiving! We had a club and she joined us for fun activities. I loved going to Wendover with her and still think of her when I see a Cleopatra slot machine. My favorite memory has to be in high school when my friends went with me to St. George and we crashed the car. But our spring break was not over.... Grandma drove us around in her minivan and picked up guys for us by yelling out her car window!! And she even got some to follow us back to her house. I loved her sassy spunk and that every kid thought they were her favorite!

Grandpa Hilton, Leonard, was one of the hardest working men I have known. He worked his way from a janitor at OC Tanner to President of manufacturing. I blame him for my love of jewelry. He taught me to be an optimist. He taught me how to save money and to budget. I still have my silver dollars he gave me as a kid. And he create a sports fan!! I loved going to Crown Burger before the Jazz games. He always had a pastrami burger! And as we'd watch the games he taught me the rules. It paid off when I would find myself on a date and understood screens, 3 seconds in the key, etc. I loved these games.... And the treats. He always got DOTS at six minutes before the half. Thank you Grandpa for teaching me so many life lessons.

Do you wonder what legacy we are passing on? Are we spending enough time bonding with our kids in this age of technology? Turn off the tv and go teach them how to play Hearts! What will our kids and grandkids remember? I hope I can be even a fraction as amazing as my grandparents. 

Summertime

I can't help but think about the song we sang in church as my summer draws to a close. "What do you do in the summertime?" My summer was so fast and very much needed after the past ten months. 

I played hard!

We vacationed with a great group of 25 friends to Lake Powell. I was careful to watch the sun after my radiation. Otherwise I felt like my old self! I loved enjoying my kids and watching them play Monopoly, wakeboard, wake surf, tube, fish, hike, and karaoke! And Greyden got to take his siblings and dad up in his plane.

We spent a lot of time in Yellowstone. We saw an old ghost town, swam in Firehole River, enjoyed the park, and took ATV rides. The girls rode horses and the kids enjoyed zip lines, more fishing and climbing. And a visit to The Playmill to watch Les Mis. We were able to take two long trips up there this summer. 

We spent time at the cabin in Heber and enjoyed our new puppy that was our blessing from the breeder after we lost the puppy in January. 

So we welcomed a new family member!

Coco went to hunting school:

And Bailey got to spend a good portion of the summer in Yellowstone with grandma!

The kids stayed busy.

Greyden and Gage are both living, working and playing in California. 

Cassidy is growing up too fast but we are grateful for every moment we get to share with her. 

Savy went to Beehive Camp, ran another Ragnar race with her mom and went on Pioneer Trek. 

Mikayla went to youth conference and is headed to EFY next week.

And Dallas went to Bear Lake for a whole week for scout camp.

We spent the 4th at Oakridge and loved the fireworks. And the 24th was spent up in the mountains away from the heat!

Joey and I spent a weekend in Park City and watched Kevin Bacon shake it on stage!! And spent some great times with the Berkshire Hathaway Group. 

I became a little bit vain again..... I got my first haircut to trim around my ears AND I got my eyelash extensions back on!  I had to put on acrylic toenails for the summer since chemo made five toenails fall off! And I spent a lot of time reading books and watching tv. I loved every second of these guilty pleasures!

Medically I still attend infusions every three weeks. I just get Herceptin and there and no bad side effects. I had another ECHO to check for damage to my heart and the had to do a contrast echo because of my expanders. And the best news of all is that I am post-menopause!! Tender mercy brought on by chemo at the age of 39. I'm so glad the hot flashes are over!! (And other things!!) Every day I get more energy and feel better. The only struggle that I face daily is the pain from the expanders and the lymphedema in my left arm. I did find a lump in my arm pit that we are watching, but we are hoping it is clogged lymph nodes and not anything else. I have surgery in 2 weeks and they will determine at that point what they are dealing with. 

Joey has been busy selling homes and helping buyers. He has even been to Ephraim helping buyers. I love watching him work hard. And thank you to those who have used his services. It has been a blessing for us to not only keep him busy and focused, but even with insurance cancer is expensive and Joey works hard so that I don't have to worry! Keep sending him your business!! He is the best!

In the past 2 weeks I have been nesting and preparing for this grueling surgery that is around the corner. I have clean every drawer and cupboard and closet in the house. I even organized the garage and the crawl space. Now I need to get my yard in shape before I am limited for six weeks. 

I am going to get my classroom ready the beginning of August so that I am prepared to go and have surgery on Aug 12th. It is a three day hospital stay and then hopefully a quick recovery since I start teaching August 25th. I am hoping they remove the port at the same time since I will only have four more infusions left. 

The reconstructive surgery is called a latissimus dorsi breast reconstruction method that uses tissue flaps in your upper back. 

"What is Latissimus Dorsi Tissue Flap Breast Reconstruction?

The latissimus dorsi is a tissue flap procedure that uses muscle and skin from your upper back to create a new breast mound after a mastectomy. An ellipse of skin and your latissimus dorsi muscle will be tunneled from your upper back to your mastectomy area to create your reconstructed breast. Your reconstructed breast will not look and feel exactly the same as your natural breast."  

I have been grateful for those tender wishes and moments that many of you share with me. you know who you are and I am grateful to you. So what did I do in the summertime when all the world was green? 

I vacationed a lot....

Saw doctors and thought....

How happy I am to be here and look at the blue, blue sky......

"Is that what you do? So do I."

Enjoy the rest of your summer and be grateful for every moment with your loved ones.

Honor the Tribe

Today I say farewell to my students- the class of 2014. And the message we were left with was our motto from the school year, "Honor the Tribe". What is honor? How do you define honor? And what is your tribe? 

My tribe at Bountiful High has been very instrumental in my life this year helping me get through a challenging time. I hope that they know how helpful they were to me. And when I look at the list of names of students I have taught for three years I feel honored to watch them grow and they honor me by their success. Our tribe is unique. We are measured by our footsteps and those of us at Bountiful High can hold our heads high. 

I am excited for the summer. My skin is starting to heal. Joey said it looks like someone tried to burn me with an iron. But I only have 7 more Herceptin infusions. My last one will be Oct 23 and then they can remove the port. The Herceptin is not an infusion with bad side effects. Other than the time that it takes the only drawback is potential heart damage. Me EKG in April looked great and I'll have another one in July. I am hoping my reconstructive surgery will be in August so I have time to heal before a new school year. 

I think that as I was listening to the graduation commencement and thinking about my year Faulkner's words hit home:

"I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail."

It has been a long year and I have prevailed. My heart goes out to my dear friend who lost a child this week to Batten's disease. She is prevailing in many ways that perhaps we never anticipated. But what an honor she has been to her parents and family. 

My students have been amazing and taught me many lessons this year as I endured. Honor the Tribe!

I won't give up

I did it! Today was my last day of radiation therapy!! Woot woot. I had a playlist that I was listening to the past few weeks as each day it was getting harder to go to Salt Lake every day and my skin was getting more red and raw and sore and tender. One song in the daily playlist was Jason Mraz, "I Won't Give Up". And I didn't!! 

I am so excited to be ready to let the skin heal and to enjoy the summer and to no longer be sick. This is a great day! Hooray! Thank yoh for all my supporters. And to all my new friends who are still fighting their fight..... Don't give up!

Stay strong.... End in sight

I am so excited. I only have six more radiation treatments. My skin is red and raw and I can't wear anything tight or it aggravates the area. I keep applying the ointments the doctor has recommended. 

But I realized that the little things that have helped me get through every day. I listen to music as I get radiated Mondag through Friday and I realize how much music is calming and a form of therapy. 

I also am grateful for my rides to my treatments. After working all day I am so tired and so my mom or Joey will drive me to St. Marks every day. They realized I had an inner ear infection last week which has added to my dizziness. 

The hardest thing is not being home to take care of the house and kids after school. And I have to think about dinner at 7 am so that I don't have to figure it out after I get home from radiation. 

I am beyond thrilled that this stage is nearing an end. I am tired of being tired and sick. My hair is growing back fast and I have some gray hairs. Cancer gave me gray hair! 

For those of you that haven't seen the recent dove video that focuses on breast cancer it might be worth your time. It helped me refocus and to readjust how I view my battle wounds. 

http://www.today.com/video/today/55080718/

My mother-in-law and mom wrote the following after watching the video:

I have been touched the past few weeks with the opportunity to strengthen others from this experience. I am so grateful for that opportunity. It is a blessing that others can find strength from the trials we go through.