Loved ones give me hope

Today was my 2nd round of chemo and I wasn't nervous at all. It won't be easy but I think that knowing what to expect makes it more bearable. I again happen to be very grateful for my port. It makes it so easy for them to draw my blood and to insert my chemo meds. Lab work went smoothly and my blood results were awesome! That means I am healthy enough for them to kill my cells again. Is it twisted that they are so joyful that you are healthy and they get to insert that poison....

Dr. Ward spent so much time asking me about every symptom... He wanted to know days, symptoms, how long they lasted, etc. I need to keep track of this better. But I was so comforted that they really wanted to know and they care! In fact, I'm sure they get the same symptoms over and over and yet they were so patient and addressed every concern.

No more expansion for a bit. My skin is just not healing very quickly on the left side. This was a bit concerning but I am confident in their ability to do things in the right time and have trust in my doctors. 

Today I asked my mom to bring me to chemo for a couple of reasons: my mom wants to be involved and it gives Joey a break!  It was actually a really nice day with my mom. We went to Einstein's on the way up, we had lunch, we played on our electronic devices, we tried to read our books, we watched mindless television and we mostly just talked and talked! Joey would be there every time if it were up to him, but we realized that I need him to care for me most when I get home. But I still couldn't keep him away...he was up here not long after we left. He stayed for a visit and it felt nice to have them both there. I still wonder if my mom was there to hold my hand or work a puzzle in the waiting room!!! I couldn't keep her away from the puzzles....

My mom received well wishes from neighbors last night that remembered today was our next chemo. I received so many texts and Facebook messages of support over the past couple of days. Joey keeps getting love and support. I was watching Obama on the news while I was at chemo and he stated that he felt very hopeful about America. The statement hit me because although I may not agree with his statement I can honestly say that the word hopeful really stuck out in my mind. I was hopeful today. I am hopeful that I will beat this. I am hopeful that I will be a survivor.

And after watching this cute lady spin for the showcase showdown..... ( she spinned so hard she actually fell on her butt and couldn't stand up without Drew Carrey's help! And she got $1.00 and had to spin again and fell on her butt again!) How awesome that she was so happy! And Bob Barker is 90!!! And her competitor was wearing birthday balloons in her pigtails. And she was happy wearing that on national television!! For sure I can go out with a bald head!!! And I haven't watched that show in ages.... I just feel so happy with my outlook! I have HOPE! 

Today at chemo they had a therapy dog that decided to jump on my lap and give me some love. What a fun job! Go visit cancer patients and give them HOPE! And how cute is this.... The dog performs in a dog version of the Nutcracker!! 

The only thing that always concerns me is the fact that they put in yellow hazmat suits in order to administer your meds. Yup!!! They are nervous to get any drops on themselves but they are putting this IN my body! The only nasty part I feel is the saline flush....Gross! I have to drink juice or suck on a candy or the taste is unbearable. And the gas bubbles and nausea start coming within about 15 minutes of the start of infusion.

So 2nd round of chemo is done and now I am prepared for the side effects. But I am not facing this alone. Thank you to all my loved ones that give me support. To Michelle Feerin who is bringing me dinner tonight during her busiest night ever....To Kim Ball for the impromptu gift of chocolates and jokes.... To Natalie Jackson for the impromptu gift of music...To Kathryn and Rob Rey for teaching for me....To Megan and her dancers for inspiring me through dance... I appreciate all the encouragement and hope you give me. (I'm sure I'm forgetting someone...Sorry!)

Tuesday night I started to feel a cold coming in. Sore throat, sinus congestion, ear aches. I so didn't want to have to fight a cold with chemo. I have washed my hands so much my cuticles are splitting and I use hand sanitizer all the time but somehow my immunity wasn't strong enough to fight off this virus. And so with HOPE I bravely push onward. What other choice is there? But I think hope is sometimes all you need.