GI Jane ready for battle

I made the decision to shave my head after pieces were falling out. I felt that it would be easier than seeing it in my brush or on my pillow. My sweet husband helped me and there were some tears. But he just kept kissing me and reassuring me of how beautiful I am. He told me I looked like Demi Moore in GI Jane!! I doubt that, but it made me think about this war I'm facing. 

(No pictures of my moment. I was crying and had red and swollen eyes!)

In the movie there is a moment she has with her commander:

"Master Chief John Urgayle: Pain is your friend, your ally, it will tell you when you are seriously injured, it will keep you awake and angry, and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain?

Lt. Jordan O'Neil: Don't know!

Master Chief John Urgayle: It lets you know you're not dead yet!"

Guess what! I can go through pain and be injured and it can make me angry.... And it reminds me that I am still alive. My dad told me today that I looked beautiful and alive! Yes.... I am grateful to be alive. 

As we were decorating the tree Joey took a lot of shots of me. And when I looked over at him his "eyes were sweating". He told me that he felt so overwhelmed while looking at the photos and could see the Christmas Tree lights reflected in the picture of the Savior. And I was on one side of the tree and the Savior on the other. Just a humble reminder that although it oftens feels like I am walking alone (even though I have so much support) I still have to essentially fight this alone, but I don't. My Savior is beside me helping me and watching over me throughout each battle in my war. 

And now when I need peace and comfort and a boost to get through the day I can enjoy the feeling that Joey and I shared tonight in our front room. I can allow the magic of the Christmas tree take me away from the hurt and let me reminisce about childhood memories and the magic that I still see in the eyes of our kids. I can look at our Simon Dewey print and remember that after all he went through he found peace and that "He is Risen". Thank you for being by my side. I am glad that this GI Jane is not alone and that I am still alive!