Baby steps

One of all time favorite movies has to be What about Bob? Although I watch it for the humor it does have a message that when we need to do hard things that seem overwhelming sometimes we just have to take the first baby steps. Sometimes you just want to hide under a rock. 

It has been a rough couple of days but every day you get up and put a smile on and face your challenges. The hope is if you take things one step at a time you can manage and not only survive, but you will be victorious. 

Today was my next appointment with the plastic surgeon. My anticipation was that they would be removing the stitches that I have had since Dec 30!! But only one stitch was healed enough to come out. But on the positive side I didn't feel anything! And then they said the other stitches would stay in for awhile longer.... Boo! 

But I did get to up my alien boobs with 50 cc's in each side. The positive is that I don't have deflated, lumpy expanders now. The negative is that my torso feels like I have two rocks sitting on my chest and where the nerves are reconnecting I get sharp pains. This is coupled with low blood pressure today and a bad chemo day. But I still have to look at the positives. 

My mom room me to Kneaders on our way home from Huntsman and the French toast tasted amazing!! And when I got home I fell asleep for 3 hours!! My body so needed that! And then my sweet neighbor and friend, Lesley, brought in deli sandwiches from Leger's Deli so I don't have to worry about dinner. 

Sometimes when you hit a slump it is hard to pull yourself back into happiness. I'm not sure that there is an easy answer other than to take baby steps and try to refocus on the positives. 

I saw this quote on my first dance teachers Facebook page today and it just helped me put things in perspective. Thank you Merlyn...

I love life! And I am grateful for the positive things in my life. I am going to continue to seek out the sunshine and maybe if I just keep putting a smile on my face I won't feel so gloomy. 

Amazing Grace

Today as I was wallowing in misery I was reminded constantly of the support and love that surround me. And everyone is having struggles and challenges and yet they still reach out to other people who need love and support. 

My mom and dad showed up with dinner and an object lesson. He handed each of our kids a toothpick and asked them to break it into half. This was easily done. One little toothpick us weak all alone and can be shattered easily. But then he put six toothpicks all together (5 of us in our home and one to represent the Savior). He then asked the kids to try to break them. It couldn't be done. The lesson is that we are not alone when we are going through our challenges and that we won't break if we help each other. 

At this same moment my sister-in-law is at the hospital with her ailing grandma. When you watch and pray for a pet and crumble when things don't go as expected you do realize that the pain will subside. But it is nothing when stacked next to someone who has been in your life forever and you are facing hard challenges. Holly has an amazing family and just like those toothpicks they are string together and it reminds me I am not alone facing hard things and I need to be aware of those in need around me. 

This couldn't be more apparent than when a 10 year old neighborhood girl comes to your front door because she heard we lost our puppy. Sam had remembered a book that reminds us to make lemonade out of lemons and told her mom that she wanted to give her book to me and make me cookies to cheer me up. She wrote me a beautiful note and is reminding me to be brave. I was taught a valuable lesson from a sweet young girl who reached out of her comfort zone to comfort me. 

Kaliee sent me flowers and a note that she knew was perfect for me. And the notes and messages of love have been humbling. Thank you for your tenderness and love.

And although my tears keep falling and I need to still find peace I am blessed by the grace and goodness of those around me that remind me that I am not meant to be "depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed, or unworthy". I need to be brave and look outside myself to be reminded that I have a cluster of toothpicks that will not let me break. With our community of love no matter what outcomes come to our lives we can be victorious!

And our sweet, little Dixie is safe and protected in heaven and I'm sure that her loving spirit is touching others just as she did here. I'm so grateful for the 4 days that I had to have her enter my heart. 

Shattered

Last night as I was headed back to the vet for our fourth visit this week this song came on the radio:

The past few days have tested my emotions and physical stamina in new ways. I don't understand why.... My heart is aching.... And I haven't stopped crying.

Our sweet, perfect, tiny puppy developed some complications and she passed away this morning. 

Thank you to Dr. Joe for trying everything to save her. And for holding and comforting our family. I don't think life is always very fair. She was so cute and would snuggle next to my neck. She loved curling up on Joey's shoulder. She gave tender kisses on your chin. She just wasn't big enough and strong enough to fight anymore.

Sweet Mikayla posted this online last night and it helps to try to put things in perspective:

I keep thinking about what more I could have done. I feel broken. I know that I did everything I could, but that doesn't stop the doubts from creeping in. 

And then there is my strong husband who despite his attempts to not cry just held me in his arms and we cried together. He reminded me that she was a perfect soul- a perfect spirit. And sometimes we are chosen to host these sweet animals before they move on. I agree with this because I want her peaceful, happy, and strong. But it doesn't make it any easier. I wanted to have her here for me. (That sounds so selfish)

I know that for some people she is a just a dog. But she was our baby in such a short time. So today while my brain is trying to comprehend and wonder why.... My heart is actually hurting and wrenching with anguish...My mom side is trying to hold it together and show a brave face but I end up sobbing hysterically. And I am slowly processing this loss and just fold into my husband's arms and find a way to overcome this challenge.  I won't shatter.... Although right now I feel broken. I am grateful for the knowledge I have regarding life after death and it is comforting. It hasn't eased the pain right now, but eventually I will process this hard thing and overcome  this shattered moment and pull myself together again. 

Hugs are the best!

What does a hug do to your mood? It makes my entire mood shift gears. If I'm loading the dishwasher.... I continue with a smile! If I'm getting ready for bed.... It helps me feel safe and connected to my loved ones. If I'm saying goodbye for even an hour... I know that if anything happens I have expressed my love.

At night after our family prayer we have a rule that everyone has to hug everyone in the room. 

And we have an exceptional hugger in our family. You may wonder what makes an expert in the field of hugging? Well Savana has it down!

She is genuine with her hugs. She means it and you know it cones straight from her heart. 

She hugs everyone. No one is excluded. No discrimination of hugs. Even if she is mad at Dallas because he darted during the prayer she will still hug him. 

And the icing on the cake is that if she really loves you you will get more than one hug in an hour. 

She is teaching our family to show our love with actions and not just words. She is comfortable expressing her love which is rare in a 12 year old and very unique. She is our teacher and we are learning to love more and to love each other harder. Thank you HugBug! We love you!

Precious Baby

Our anniversary is just around the corner. We are trying to build memories together that we have missed along the way. A baby is an experience that isn't on the table so instead we practice having a baby and instead of getting a human baby we found a puppy to raise together. What an awesome anniversary present and awesome bedmate on bad chemo days to brighten my days and nights!

We spent a few nights talking about our favorite dogs that we have had. Bailey is my yorkie and she is a sweetheart. (This is Bailey)

And so we decided on another yorkie. We found a teacup yorkie and brought her home Tuesday evening. (This is Dixie)

She is 8 weeks old and weighs almost 2 lbs. She is SO fun. We have named her Dixie. She fits in a Dixie cup! And it just fit her. She is our baby. This means we feed her three times a day with soft food. We love and snuggle with her. She cries during the night and keeps us awake. She gives the best kisses and the best snuggles. She is stinking adorable. She has Joey wrapped around her paw already. He was holding her on his chest as he was falling asleep and I went to put her in her crate and he said not to take her until he was asleep. Cassie was over at the house and heard him downstairs talking to the dogs and he was using his baby talk. She said, "Who is that talking?" And she was shocked when she found out it was her dad!!

And she has already firmed up a spot in my heart! She is my new baby and I love her. 

"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love.  For me they are the role model for being alive." ~Gilda Radner

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." ~Ben Williams

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." ~Roger Caras

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies." ~Gene Hill

Movie Time

Grandma Judy always tries to do activities once a term with the grandkids. This time she took them all to a movie. It was a show about nuts and Dallas being a 12 year old told me many snarky things about nuts during the show..... Crazy kid! 

No one else was in the theater so grandma played it off that she had rented the whole theater for us!!

The movie was a kid's show but as with all kid shows there is always deeper meaning for those adults stuck in the show! 

In all movies things have to be falling apart and in kid movies they always have a happy ending! So this quote fit the movie and so my life. Before I met Joey I was unlucky in love. I was just starting to give up on love with that one true love and things just fell I to place. And such has been our relationship where we don't always understand things and we just have faith and wait and things just fall into place. I make it sound so easy and a show is over in two hours. It isn't easy to try to be patient when you are facing hard challenges and there are still things we are facing that we may not understand how it will play out in the end and the reason for those hard tests, but just like the kid's show we hope it will all end up happy!

This show was about a squirrel trying to find nuts for the winter and he is faces many obstacles and often doubts his abilities. In fact he states that he is not a hero and isn't capable of being a hero and plot spoiler.... He ends up being a hero! Sometimes we don't know what we can do. I didn't think that I could ever say that chemo wasn't that bad after the first two treatments. I didn't think I could stay working, cleaning the house, cooking, and doing laundry. But I just kept trying and I am capable of more than I anticipated. And more portably I have learned to ask for help for the things I am not capable of doing. 

And the show ends with a task that may have seemed impossible a conquered task. Beating cancer.... Being a survivor... These are still things that seem impossible until I have that final confirmation that we did it! In September it seemed impossible until my sweet husband pulled out his Wayne Dyer book and put me in a perspective of looking at things in a different way. So I know believe that it is possible to do impossible things. But I still need to see it on paper!!

Sometimes you walk into a kid movie thinking you'll have time to take a nap or check your emails and then you end up learning more about yourself and making some personal reflections. I guess more kid shoes are on the horizon! Joey will be SO excited!!

I've done something right

My sweet daughter has often doubted her beauty and will make demeaning comments about her looks. I know that this happens with most teenage girls and as a parent have tried to encourage her and remind her that she is beautiful.... Because she is!

And then last week she said something that made me feel like I had won the Parent Award. And I will share that award with her dad, Joey, and grandparents, and aunts and uncles. Because we all build her self-esteem and tell her how much she us loved and point out her many talents. 

Mikayla told me that if she had cancer tomorrow she would shave her head and not even get a wig. That she sees the beauty and pride that comes from shaving your head and owning that unique beauty. How many 15 year olds would be willing to shave their heads? I hope home would have to because of cancer. But to have the confidence to be able to rock that as a high school sophomore made me feel so happy to know that she really knows that beauty is so much more than hair and that she realizes that she is beautiful. 

We will keep reminding her and our other children that they are amazing, but isn't it wonderful when you know that it has sunk in!

I feel humbled that Mikayla is watching this experience and finding her own joy and strength through this. And I hope that a small part of that is from my inspiration and attacking cancer with a smile. I want her and our other kids and my students to remember most from this my humor through it all and that I am not giving up. This is my life lesson to them! 

Genetic testing

This last week my mom and I attended my genetic testing doctor's appointment. This is where Huntsman is amazing. They start by tracking your family tree and identifying all health issues, ages, gender, and hereditary risks and deaths.

(This is what the chart she made looked like- I'm glad my mom was there to help figure everything out)

 Did you know that colon cancer and breast cancer (with links to ovarian cancer) are the two cancers that are the strongest in genetic links. My dad's side has history of colon cancer and my mom's has a history of breast cancer. So the testing is very beneficial for my family members.... Not so much for me since I already have cancer! However if you are BRCA positive you are at risk for ovarian cancer as well and for me that would mean I would have a hysterectomy in addition to the current procedures. 

"Hereditary cancer risk comes from genetic changes that people inherit from their mother or father. A hereditary risk factor may be passed down through family generations, though only 5-10% of all cancers are caused by known inherited genetic changes." - Huntsman Institute

But the benefits that my siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, parents, and children could gain could prevent them for missing a diagnosis. It would allow for early detection. The cost is substantial, but insurance usually covers all but $375.  This will determine the BRCA gene and if it is present and whether my breast cancer is genetic and what percentage is predicted. This would mean that Mikayla would start mammograms at age 24. And Angelina Jolie was notified that she has this hereditary gene and elected to cut them off to avoid any future issues. 

So today they took my blood and in 3 weeks we will have a huge report detailing our families genetic risks and potential things to avoid and decrease their risk. Very cool and very valuable information.

Are you curious what your risk would be? Take this online survey from myriad online:

BRCA Risk Calculator

Please answer the following questions to evaluate your patient's risk for a BRCA1 or BRCA2mutation.

• Is the patient male or female? Female Male
• Is the patient of Ashkenazi Jewish decent? No Yes
• Has the patient ever been diagnosed with breast cancer? No Yes

Family History

(Includes at least one first or second degree relative.)

• Has anyone in your patient’s family been diagnosed with breast cancer under the age of 50?
•  No Yes
• Has anyone in your patient’s family been diagnosed with ovarian cancer?
•  No Yes

Calculated BRCA Mutation Risk: --% 

http://www.myriadpro.com/brca-risk-calculator/calc.html

Here is the information Huntsman provides: 

"Knowledge of the genetic basis of cancer is essential to understanding the disease. Genetic data is important in all aspects of cancer management, including the following:

• Improving our understanding of cancer biology
• Helping identify individuals at increased risk for the disease
• Increasing our ability to characterize various subtypes of cancer
• Designing treatment plans tailored to the specific cancer subtype
• Developing new cancer treatments

Cancer susceptibility genes

In some families, DNA tests can identify specific gene mutations as the cause of inherited cancer risk and determine whether family members have inherited the disease-related mutation. Genetic test results are unclear when an unclassified variant (a change in the DNA with unknown significance) is found. Research continues at Huntsman Cancer Institute to learn more about these variants and their significance."

Not the most exciting blog, but very helpful for those of you who NEED to get a mammogram. Maybe you've been ignoring all those commercials bugging you to go get one- Or the big billboards in Davis County! If there is any cause for you to get a colonoscopy get it done. It is a shitty thing, but only for a night! Hahaha

We know that these cancers can be cured with early detection and this genetic testing just helps us understand our risks and possible preventative measures. So boring blog, but hopefully provided some info for some of you! 

Bowling

Let me clear up front.... I suck at bowling. Well if I have the gutter guards up I do okay, but make me bowl like an adult and it is a miserable sight. My mom has been in a bowling league for years with many of her good friends. Some of those friends have had their daughters join them.... Not mine! She knows my skill ability and wouldn't want to throw her team under the bus! In reality I work during her league team and I'm sure I would be invited, but it makes this blog more exciting to add snow credibility to my lack of talent, luck, or athleticism in the bowling alley. 

With the facts established now I can tell you that I LOVE bowling. My high school bestie owns Orchard Lanes and I love doing family activities there and pretending like I'm a pro! 

Last spring Joey sold Moe and MiKell's home for them and they had a garage sale before the move. The night before the public garage sale we raided the garage looking for any finds that we wanted to take before the public had their opportunity and we found the greatest things ever: Joey found his Grandpa's bowling shoes and bowling ball. And I found MiKell's. And we were so excited to become pros at the alley. But cancer made it so I couldn't go bowling until after the expanders come out and I have healed. So my dreams have been deferred and now I have to live through my husband! Last week his office went bowling for a weekly meeting/activity. And he wore the shoes and used the ball! And I was so happy! He may not be the master that his grandpa was but he looked mighty hot! 

Sometimes instead of looking at what we can't do for over a year because of minor setbacks we put our own selfish desires aside and just enjoy watching those you love live life. And do you know what? It actually makes you even happier than if you had done it yourself.

Weekend Getaway makes me Happy!

This past weekend the stars aligned:

We had no children all weekend.

It was a high immunity time for me.

We had a place to stay for free in St. George.

We had a dog sitter.

And we had the desire!!

We had a chance to get out of the inversion and spend three days in almost 70 degree weather!! Love!! Joey had the chance to try out his new Christmas present, a road bike. I took the opportunity to check out a bakery! We spent time with Moe and MiKell shopping, eating and visiting. We got to see my sweet grandma and my sassy Aunt Charlene! 

Denver won! Sunday selfie:

And then we decided to celebrate the win we would swing down to Mesquite for a quick trip and we won!! We won more than I ever have on slots! Joey taught me how to play tables and we didn't lose! But no big wins! And then it was my turn to take him to play the slots. My cousins would agree that when you were old enough to go to Dover with grandma and grandpa you went because even if you didn't win you always left with more money than you started with. You got to spend the day with them and talk for the whole drive. And so I became an occasional gamer! Joey wasn't convinced he would have fun, but I did it! He had a blast. 

Our weekend was amazing and I fell in love even more with my amazing man. And I love the 80 mph law on I-15!!

Sometimes you have to take these opportunities to fall deeper in love and make more memories. I am so thankful that I have him in my life! He makes me happy!

Fantastic Four or is it???

Today is Chemo #4! That means I am on the downhill slope. I was all giddy with excitement and then at the doctor's appointment before I was reminded that radiation is still in the wings and the Herceptin infusion is for an entire year. So I will be coming here until next November. I just hope I don't go into 2015. I don't think my pocketbook can handle meeting my 3 tier deductible for three years in a row. But I guess if anyone in our family needs a surgery this is the year to do that!

But I am happy and optimistic knowing that the chemo that makes me sick will be done by the end of March. And I anticipate that this time around will be easier (#3 was the easiest so far!) As I arrived at the hospital today I started to recognize fellow cancer friends and it is comforting to share our stories and symptoms. And the secretaries and nurses all know that I am crazy by now and we all make jokes and laugh. The hardest part about these days is the waiting...

We come early for lab work so they can check my blood. (40 minutes) Today he said my blood was like gold! Ready to pump in the poison! 

Then we wait to meet with the doctor (40 minutes) and review medicine, symptoms and future plans. Then we wait to get a chair in the infusion room (1 hour). Then we wait for the lab to mix the chemo. (70 minutes) Then they infuse... (4 hours)! 

I have had some exciting things happen in the past few weeks. I have received cute cards and pedicures, wheat grass, and even a Pez dispenser (Thanks Carla!) And Brittany brought me the cutest scarf and magnet and notecards that are in this cute holder that says BRAVE! And an adorable head wrap from my sweet mother-in-law, Anita and she even sent some healthy alternative remedies. I love that after all these years I still have a relationship with her. And some of the sweetest things are the Facebook messages and uplifting articles and stories that you all share with me. 

Here are a few of the most recent: 

Danna brought me a book on breast cancer that is so right up my ally. She shares the sassy side of cancer with no holds barred! And a few choice swear words intermingled!! I love this book. Such a humorous read during this time. 

Candance and Lindsay Turner are always reminding me to be brave. They are great cheerleaders! Thank you everyone for the constant encouragement. I feel humbled and overwhelmed by love and kindness. 

I am sure I am forgetting someone or something.... I promise I will remember when chemo isn't coursing through my veins and I'll make sure I mention your good deeds. I feel like it spreads good vibes for others to look around and find someone to pay it forward. 

I really have little to complain about. My eyes are the most annoying problem right now. They are over producing due to dryness and so I'm always crying tears! But really they are just watering. But I'm sure that my students just think I'm so sad about Ralph telling the boys in Lord of the Flies to call Piggy by his nickname! And yesterday my skin started to have a yellow/green tint to it. This is from the chemo and is nothing serious, but for my vanity it sucks! My lashes are almost gone and my eyebrows have holes. They are probably only noticeable to me but I'm not well practice in filling in the holes and most mornings I spend more time re-glueing my eyelashes and doing my brows than I ever spent doing my hair!

Despite these minor annoyances I feel great and love my life. I love my support network which includes students, parents of students, neighbors, friends, church leaders, teaching friends, my many parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmas, children, friends of children, my husband, his co-workers and friends, and most of all my belief and trust in a higher being. 

Chemo #4 will be fantastic and I am three weeks closer to being done and a being a survivor. 

And then......

We had 15 minutes left of the last bag of IV fluids. And I started to have chest pains and left arm pain and struggled breathing. My blood pressure shot to 155 over 100 and my pulse was 130. My face was bright red and they suspected a pulmonary embolism or an allergic reaction to the medicine. Joey told me at 12:30 am as we were leaving that he was very concerned when I was "crashing" (his choice of words). He was scared and very panicked. I would have never known this. As my rock he held my hand and rubbed my neck and reassured me over and over. Needless to say the nurses did NOT hide their panic. They (five medical staff members) began treating me for an allergic reaction through my port and when they pains didn't subside I was sent off to the ER for blood tests, ct scan and an ultrasound and lots more waiting. We arrived at the ER at 6 pm and began tests that lasted until midnight. All the tests came back as no blood clot so we will proceed as if there is an allergic reaction that has developed to the carboplatin. Or this could mean lymphedema. If it is an allergic reaction that means 2 hours longer for the next infusions so the can monitor the reaction and treat with Benadryl and more steroids. But it was 1 am before we got to our house. Such a long day! Joey ate hospital food for dinner... Boo! And Tammy Davis had dinner waiting for us... Lunch tomorrow? And so where I was feeling so positive I now feel disheartened as I may have to add one more chemo session. And they will be longer and not as pleasant. And I will try to keep my spirits high but maybe for just tonight I will let Joey hold me and I can cry in his arms. What a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad 4th Chemo.

Menopause. . .. .

I am cold blooded.  I am always cold.  I want my house at 73 degrees.  I use a space heater under my desk at work.  I use my seat heater in my car even in the summer.  I love sitting by the fireplace.  I don't like being cold.  For the past four weeks I have changed. . . . I am always hot! It didn't hit me until my nurse visit when she asked me if I was getting hot flashes and then she explained that chemotherapy gives you menopause symptoms.
Now I'm not going to lie I am grateful that Aunt Flo is leaving me alone while I battle cancer.  That is for sure a tender mercy.  But really? Menopause at 38.  And the bonus is that I will get to go through menopause again in about 10 years.  But I can now understand what a hot flash feels like.  And it is not fun!  I was in my classroom the other day and I had one hit me and I couldn't strip layers off in front of my students but I stripped my wig off my head and wanted to stick my head out of the window.
My children are getting used to me unrolling the windows in the dead of winter as we drive around town.  The car temp is rarely over 62 degrees.  We are sleeping with a fan on in our bedroom every night.  I hate menopause and I hate that I have to go through it twice.  But on the bright side at least I know what to expect and it is clear that the chemo is working on my body!

My Favorites! (Cancer Shopping List)

This is my attempt at my "Oprah's favorite things" if I were Opheah and if she did a show for cancer patients! I guess the intent behind this is to help others who might find themselves in a situation where they are facing surgery or chemo and want to feel prepared. These are things that have been so helpful over the past few months. And I guess if you were looking for a gift for someone you love that might be going through this it might give you some ideas. Over the past two weeks I was informed that my blog was being forwarded to other patients and I was hoping that this might be helpful. If you have been following my blog this is boring since all these things have been posted before, but here they are compiled and include links to help with purchasing! 

Trident Vitality Green Tea Gum

Chemo Gum
This is the only gum that I can chew during chemo.  Other gum takes too sweet or too spicy! This gum was in my Christi Rack Pack foundation bag and I had to buy more. It is perfect!

Udderly Smooth
Chemo Lotion
Perfect for dry chemo lotion. This was actually recommended by a close family friend who had a son going through leukemia. It really is a perfect lotion. The scent doesn't make you nauseous and the lotion hydrates your dry skin.

A must all the time. . . chemo burns your nose hairs and your nose is always running and red. It is funny that I always have a Kleenex in my pocket or purse.
Kleenex to go

Aquafor- for your nose! This helps my sores. It soothes my nose. There are times when I can barely touch my nose because it is so tender.

Awesome books for the husband. The first one is by far my favorite. But both are great resources.
Now what?

Breast Cancer Husband

Lanyards are essential for drains and tubes after mastectomy. I would hook the drains onto the lanyards with safety pins so I could shower. This also reduced the pressure from them hanging. You can use any lanyard but these were so cute!
Breast Cancer Awareness Lanyard

You can't roll on your side or sleep on your stomach for so long. We found this body pillow and it made sleeping so much better. It wasn't cheap but it was worth every penny. This is the greatest purchase ever for post surgery.  I would buy this for sure! Joey wishes we had this after his shoulder surgery.
Body Pillow

Love these books! Both are full of healthy recipes and focus on symptoms and recipes that target and reduce these. For example, if you have diarrhea there are recipes that help cure through healthy eating. It is also full of valuable information on foods that reduce your cancer risk. Eat your blueberries!!
Cancer Fighting Kitchen

One Bite at a Time

Favorite healthy snack. I've tried a number of healthy bars and these are the tastiest!
Kind Bars

Must have for low immunity. I buy small pocket ones from bath and body works for my purse. I keep huge ones at home on my kitchen counter and in my classroom. 
Hand Sanitizer

For those queasy days:
Queasy Pops

Queasy Drops

Lemon Drops I love to suck on these during my flush at infusion. The taste really bothers me. These are easy to tote and quick to pop in my mouth! I also love butter rum lifesavers!

Bit o Honey For some reason these just taste so heavenly. I can't eat sugary candy. It just tastes so sweet and like syrup. But these taste perfect!

I am a Burt's Bees fan.  These products are amazing and help lips and cuticles.
Burt's Lip Tin Perfect for my dry lips and the taste doesn't bother me.

Burt's Cuticle Cream A must for chemo nails!

Honey and Lemon Drops I prefer the lemon drops from above but I used these when I was fighting a little cold.

Burt's Bees Face Wipes These work beautifully! Especially helpful when you have to limit showering post surgery. And I love the feel on my skin!

This is a must for your wig! You can wash them and dry them upside down on these stands and I have three wigs and so it helps keep them looking their best.
Wig Stand

I have so many hats that I wear now and I couldn't see them all.  So we installed this coffee mug holder on the wall in my closet so I could hang all my hats and see them at a glance.
Hat Holder

At low immunity points you will want a face mask to avoid germs. I bought a box of 50 and they were super cheap.
Face Mask

Feeling nauseous?  These ginger chews are my favorite.  In fact, I like them even when I'm not going through chemo!
Ginger Chews

And lavendar lotion is amazing:
JR Watkins Lavendar Lotion

Victoria Secret knockout jacket- I love the inside pockets post surgery. Holds drains and tubes. They are on clearance so you better get one ASAP!

Lululemon jacket.... So soft and just like the other jacket it has inner pockets. I also had lymph nodes removed and couldn't raise my arm and had to wear zip up apparel for weeks. 

Eucerin Face Cream This feels so nice on my face, but my eyes get so tender and sore from the fake eyelash strips and this helps at night soothe my eyes. 

Joni's Wigs- love their wigs. They give you a discount for medical purposes and they fix each wig so that it fits you perfectly. 

Wig #1

Wig #2

http://www.headcoversbyjoni.com

Hats with Hair- they make a halo wig out of your own hair! You have to send it to Florida and it takes about three weeks to get back. It does cost a little bit but you get to keep your hair!

http://www.hatswithhair.com

Hip and Humble- cutest hats and scarfs!

http://www.hipandhumble.com

Favorite Healing Jewelry. I have received different bracelets as gifts. Great jewelry and cuylte gifts!
Alex and Ani

I will continue to add to this list as more things help me along this journey.