Pay it forward

I am preparing to fight the hardest battle and every day it sinks in a little more. Yesterday was the hardest day yet. I don't want this to sound like a pity party but I'm relaying raw emotions. My mom asked me how I'm able to stay so positive and I realized yesterday how I was coping. I think the key was to take things one day at a time. And I allowed myself to forget that and I looked at the long term. Instead of just getting through the day I was forcing myself to realize how long this journey will seem. I was eating out thinking that I may not do this again for a long time. I went to the movies thinking I better enjoy since I won't feel like going to the movies. I was giving myself a death sentence and I was being super ridiculous. What brought me back to being grounded? The kindness of those around me. Tears were just falling from my eyes and I felt so sad. And then someone would do something kind for me and I realized that I ended to stop thinking about the long haul and just take baby steps. Thank you for those of you who keep giving and loving and supporting. You bring me out of the dark and help me look for the positives. 

My cute football family surprises me with this beautiful bouquet of flowers. And the card was so cute!! It asked which was better? Chicken soup or a bouquet of flowers.... Inside it said they chose to give me a bouquet of chickens. Those 12-13 year old boys are as silly as chickens. You should see them dance. But they are not chicken on the football field. They won 48-0 yesterday!! These boys and their parents pay it forward and their acts of kindness may seem small to them, but they are huge to me!

The Holmgren family is a huge source of support. Bishop Holmgren married us in February and they welcomed Joey so warmly into the neighborhood. You are my go to house if I need an ingredient and don't want to run to the store. Emily gave me some great advice a few years ago about waiting for the right one. I was ready to start a serious relationship that didn't feel quite right and her story of how she and Nels fell in love gave me hope that if I was patient I would find that perfect man! Thank you for always being there for us. We have been through football, baseball, scouts, activity days, and so many other activities. I guess you could say that I love my neighbors!

How adorable are these bracelets? Doug and Becca.... You are amazing friends. I love getting your texts because they make me laugh. I have loved how welcoming you have been since I am a new member in "the group"! I love the memories that we have formed from Powell to the Luau to Fantasy football... you have made me feel loved. And now you give me this heartfelt gift. What an amazing organization! I love that the jewelry gives proceeds to charity. I wear these everyday! And I can't wait to request a gourmet meal from your kitchen. We love you guys! 

I realize that it may not be my time to give to others, but it is overwhelming when so many are reaching out to you. Small acts of kindness bring light to a dark heart. It makes me long to do good for others. I want to pay it forward.... Now may not be the time, but I am determined to find a pathway to bless as many people in my future as have touched me during this past month.